Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize