so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
