vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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