In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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