What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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