I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
