just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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