So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
