New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
