I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
