why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
