those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
