I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
