Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize