Moan for me like Helen Keller
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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