My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Shame - the story of my life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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