Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
