So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
