I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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