Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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