We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
