The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
