Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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