is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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