have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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