Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
