I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
