found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize