That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
