I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You dont lie about slip and slides
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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