Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
