a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
