3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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