Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
