"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize