My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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