Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
operation have a gay friend backfired
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize