i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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