I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
