i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would ride that face into the sunset
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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