Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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