She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
