I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
