You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize