The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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