Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Never joke about your clitoris.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
