Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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