This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
