i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
