Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
