he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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