I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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