white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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