Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize