The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
