Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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