Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
