I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
