There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
