Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
