In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
