i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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