Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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