ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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