Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
